Thursday, February 13, 2014

A Quick word on the Yankee Skipper...

I don't really feel like getting too deep into it, but my hundreds of millions of fans have been nagging the crap out of me on the retirement of New York Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter, so here goes. Holy shit, here comes the avalanche of praise for Jeter who "does everything right". Fine, whatever, but it's not like he's a hero or anything like that amateur football player who bravely prefers the company of men. Yeah, Jeter is a great baseball player, and has been for a long time, but his retirement quote really irked me. Read below...


"Last year was a tough one for me," Jeter wrote. "As I suffered through a bunch of injuries, I realized that some of the things that always came easily to me and were always fun had started to become a struggle. The one thing I always said to myself was that when baseball started to feel more like a job, it would be time to move forward."

Well holy shit, you mean everything wasn't "easy"? You mean everything wasn't "fun" all the time? That game you play that pays you ass-loads of cash actually feels like a job? Goddamn, Derek, IT IS TIME TO GIVE UP AND RUN!

I wonder where we would be if all Americans had that attitude during World War II..."Say, General, killin' Japs and savin' the world just ain't fun no more, see. And I always told myself that when this war stopped bein' fun and started bein' more like work, that I'd say 'good day' to the whole dad gum, thing! So here's my gun, I'll catch ya on the flip side."




Or how about our luscious ladies back home building all those tanks and ships? "You know, Belle, I been thinkin'...These 18 hour days just aren't as fun as they used to be. Maybe speaking German wouldn't be so bad. I'm putting down my blow torch and picking up a white flag!"

For the guy who does everything right, he really comes off like a fat pussy in his quote. Yes yes, I hear you already, and you're right, I would retire too if I had all that money at that age. However, I sure as hell wouldn't mock the people with real jobs who don't get thousands of dollars per second and who can't just quit when they're asked to exert some effort. I encourage Derek to think for a moment about what he actually had to do during his career to enjoy such a stellar life...and then I would command him to get down on his filthy knees, take my hand...and choke himself with it.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you sir, for having the courage to tell the truth. May God bless you in everything you do. How's your cousin doing, by the way? Would you care for some tea? Don't get down. I know people are reading. It's all everyone talks about at the barber shop.

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